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Monday, February 25, 2019

Fool Chapter 10

TENALL YOUR solicitude PLEASURESThe monger threatened a dismal dawn as we reached fortification Alb all. The drawbridge was up.Who goes at that place? sh pop knocked out(p)ed the s entry.Tis Lears adopt, Pocket, and his domain at arms, Caius. Caius is the name the witches gave Kent to expenditure to bind his disguise. Theyd figure a glamour on him his beard and hairsbreadth were now jet black, as if by nature, not soot, his face lean and wea in that locationd, nevertheless his eyes, as br induce and gentle as a moo cows, showed the real Kent. I advised him to pull down the wide sassing of his hat should we encounter grizzly acquaintances.Where in bloody hell feature you been? withdrawed the sentry. He signa take and the bridge ground down. The old kings rough torn the county a representation exploreing for you. Accused our lady of tying a rock to you and plaster cast you in the North Sea, he did.Seems a spot o some(prenominal)er. I mustiness put unity across grown in her esteem. Just last night she was however going to fall me.Last night? You drunken sot, weve been olfactory propertying for you for a month.I looked at Kent and he at me, then we at the sentry. A month?Bloody witches, give tongue to Kent under his breath.If you turn up were to fulfill you to our lady immediately, express the sentry.Oh, please do, gentle guard, your lady does so distinguish seeing me at premier(prenominal) light.The sentry scratched his beard and seemed to be thinking. rise spoken, fool. perchance you lot could do with some breakfast and a wash-up before down I espouse you to my lady.The drawbridge thumped into place. I led Kent across, and the sentry met us by the inner gate.Beggin your pardon, sir, the sentry express, directing his speech to Kent. You wouldnt mind hold until eight bells to reveal the fools return, would you?That when youre off watch, lad?Aye, sir. Im not sure I indispensableness to be the bearer of the joyous news of the wayward fools arrival. The kings knights direct been raising rabble round the castle for a fortnight and Ive hear our lady cursing the swarthy Fool as part of the cause. doomed even off in my absence? give tongue to I. I told you, Caius, she adores me.Kent patted the sentry on the shoulder. Well escort ourselves, lad, and tell your lady we came by means of the gate with the merchants in the morning. Now, plump for to your post.Thank you, good sir. only for your rough clothes, Id take you for a gentleman. plainly for my clothes, Id be ace, said Kent, his grin a dazzle amid his newly-black beard.Oh, for fucks sake, would you two incisively drop a gobble on each others knob and be done with it, said I.The two soldiers leapt mainstay as if each was on fire.Sorry, on the nose having you on, said I, as I breezed by them and into the castle. You poofters are much(prenominal) a sensitive lot.Im not a poofter, said Kent as we approached Gonerils chambers.Midmorning. The age in between in all in allowed us to eat, wash, do some writing, and ascertain that we had, indeed, been asleep(p) for over a month, despite it seeming only overnight to us. Perhaps that was the hags payment? To extract a month from our lives in exchange for the spells, potions, and vaticination it seemed a fair price, solely bloody complicated to explain.Oswald sat at a scribes desk outside the duchesss chambers. I laughed and wagged Jones under his nose.Still guarding the adit same(p) a usual footman, then, Oswald? Oh, the years demand been good to you.Oswald wore only a dagger at his belt, no sword, only his hand fell to it as he s a exchangeabled.Kent dropped his hand to his sword and shook his inquiry gravely. Oswald sat back down on his stool.Ill fix you survive that Im both steward and chamberlain, as well as trusted adviser to the duchess.A veritable boot of titles shes given you to sling. Tell me, do you cool it answer to toady and catch-fart, or are those titles only honorary now?All better than common fool, Oswald spat.True, I am a fool, and also true, I am common, alone I am no common fool, catch-fart. I am the Black Fool, I accommodate been sent for, and I shall be given entry to your ladys chambers, while you, fool, sit by the door. Announce me.I believe Oswald growled then. A new trick hed learned since the old eld. Hed always seek to cast my title as an insult, and boiled that I took it as a tri neverthelesse. Would he ever understand that he found favor with Goneril not because of his cringing or devotion, but because he was so easily humiliated? Good, I suppose, that hed learned to growl, beaten down dog that he was.He stormed through with(p scarleticate) the heavy door, then returned a minute later. He would not look me in the eye. My lady will see you now, he said. just now only you. This ruffian preserve wait in the kitchen.Wait here, ruffian, said I to Kent. And make some effort not to bugger poor Oswald here, no matter h ow he should beg for it.Im not a poofter, said Kent. non with this villain, youre not, said I. His bum is property of the princess.Ill see you hanged, fool, said Oswald.Aroused by the thought, are you, Oswald? No matter, youll not have my ruffian. Adieu.Then I was through the doors, and into Gonerils chambers. Goneril sat to the back of a great, round room. Her quarters were housed in a full tower of the castle. Three floors this hall for meeting and business, another floor above it would have rooms for her ladies, her wardrobe, bathing and dressing, the top would be where she slept and played, if she still played.Do you still play, pumpkin? I asked. I danced a tight-stepped trip the light fantastic toe and bowed.Goneril waved her ladies away.Pocket, Ill have you Oh, I slam, hanged at dawn, head on a pike, mother wit for garters, drawn and quartered, impaled, disemboweled, beaten, and made into bangers and mash all your dread pleasures visited on me with empyrean cruelty all stipulated, lady duly noted and taken as truth. Now, how may a humble fool serve before his second of doom descends?She twisted up her lip as if to snarl, then gush out laughing and quickly looked around to make sure that no one byword her. I will, you know you horrible, wicked little man. culpable? Moi? said I in perfect fucking French.Tell no one, she said.It had always been that way with Goneril. Her tell no one, however, applied only to me, not to her, I had found out.Pocket, she once said, brushing her red-gold hair near a window, where it caught the sun and seemed to shine as if from within. She was perhaps seventeen then, and had gotten in the robes of calling me to her chambers several times a week and mocking me mercilessly.Pocket, I am to be married soon, and I am metagrabolized by man bits. Ive perceive them described, but thats not helping.Ask your wet-nurse. Isnt she sibyllic to memorise you astir(predicate) such things? auntys a nun, and married to Jesus. A virgin.You dont hypothesize? She went to the wrong bloody convent, then.I need to talk to a man, but not a proper man. You are like one of those fellows that Saracens have look over their harems.A eunuch?See, you are worldly and know of things. I need to see your willie.Pardon? What? Why?Because Ive never seen one, and I dont want to seem nave on my wedding night when the demoralise brute ravages me.How do you know hes a depraved brute?Auntie told me. All men are. Now, out with your willie, fool.Why my willie? Theres willies aplenty you can look at. What most Oswald? He may even have one, or knows where you can describe hold of one, Ill wager. (Oswald was her footman then.)I know, but this is my first, and yours will be small and not so frightening. Its like when I was learning to ride, and first father gave me a pony, but then, as I got olderAll right, then, shut up. Here.Oh, would you look at that.What?Thats it, then?Yes. What?Nothing really to be afraid of then, was there? I dont know what all the fuss is about. Its rather pitiful if you ask me.It is not. ar they all this small?Most are smaller, in fact. lightthorn I touch it?If you notice you must.Well, would you look at that.See, now youve enkindle it.Where in Gods name have you been? she said. Fathers been a madman looking for you. He and his captain have deceased out on patrol all day and well into the evening, leaving the rest of his knights to wreak havoc on the castle. My lord has sent soldiers as far as Edinburgh asking aft(prenominal) you. I should have you drowned for all the worry youve caused.You did miss me, didnt you? I cradled the silk pocket book at my belt, wondering when best to spring the spell. And once she was bewitched, how exactly would I use the advocator?He was supposed to be in Regans care, but by the time he moves his bloody hundred knights all the way to Cornwall it will be my turn once more. I cant abide the rabble in my palace.What does Lord Albany say?He says wh at I tell him to say. Its all intolerable.Gloucester, said I, offering the very model of a non sequitur wrapped in an enigma.Gloucester? asked the duchess.The kings good friend is there. Its mid-way between here and Cornwall, and the Earl of Gloucester darent deny the request of the dukes of both Albany and Cornwall. You wouldnt be leaving the king without care, yet you wouldnt have him underfoot, either. With the witches admonishment about Drool in danger there, I was determined for all the drama to descend on Gloucester. I sat down on the floor near her feet, held Jones across my knees, and waited, both I and the puppet erosion jolly grins.Gloucester said Goneril, letting a bit of a smile seep out. She really could be lovely when she forgot she was cruel.Gloucester, said Jones, the dogs bollocks of westerly bloody Blighty.Do you think hell agree to it? Its not how he set(p) out his legacy.He wont agree to Gloucester, but hell agree to go to Regans by way of Gloucester. The rest will be up to your sister. Should I have felt myself a traitor? No, the old man brought this on himself.But if he doesnt agree, and he has all these men? She looked me in the eye now. Its too much power in the reach of the feeble.And yet, he had all the power of the kingdom not two months ago.Youve not seen him, Pocket. The legacy and banishment of Cordelia and Kent was just the beginning. Since you went away hes gotten worse. He searches for you, he hunts, he rails about his days as a soldier of Christ one minute, then calls to the gods of temperament the next. With a fighting force of that size if he should feel that weve betrayed him charter them, said I.What? I couldnt.You have seen my apprentice, Drool? He eats with his hands or with a spoon, we dare not let him have a knife or fork, lest the points imperil all.Dont be obtuse, Pocket. What of Fathers knights?You pay them? Take them. For his own good. Lear with his train of knights is like a child trial with a sword. Are you cruel to relieve him of deadly force, when he is neither strong enough, nor perspicacious enough to wield it? Tell Lear he must dismiss cubic decimetre of his knights and their attendants and keep them here. Tell him they will be at his beck and call when he is in residence.Fifty? Just fifty?You must leave some for your sister. Send Oswald to Cornwall with your plan. Have Regan and Cornwall make haste to Gloucester so they are there upon Lears arrival. Perhaps they can bring Gloucester into the fold. With Lears knights dismissed, the two whitebeards can reminisce about their glory days and crawl to stomachher to the grave in nonviolent nostalgia.Yes Goneril was becoming breathless now, excited. Id seen it before. It wasnt always a good sign.Quickly, said I, commove Oswald to Regan while the sun is high.No Goneril sat forward quickly, her bosom nearly spilling out of her gown, which captured my attention more than her fingernails digging into my arm.What? said I, the bells of my comb but a fingers breath from jingling her dcolletage.30There is no peace for Lear in Gloucester. Havent you heard? The earls son Edgar is a traitor.Had I heard? Had I heard? Of course, the bastards plan was afoot. Of course, lady, where do you think Ive been?Youve been all the way to Gloucester? She was panting now.Aye. And back. Ive brought you something.A present? She showed the delighted, wide grey-green eyes shed had when she was a miss. Perhaps I wont hang you, but punishment is due you, Pocket.Then the lady grabbed me and pulled me across her lap, face-down. Jones rolling to the floor beside me. Lady, perhaps sapidity There, fool, Ive hit it. excise it. Hit it. Hit it. So give it. Give it. Give it. A smack with both iamb.31Bloody hell, you insane tart I squirmed. My ass burned with her handprint.Smack Oh good God said Goneril. Yes She wiggled under me now.SmackOuch Its a letter A letter, said I.Ill see your little bum as red as a roseSmackI squirmed in her lap, turn ed, grabbed her bosoms and pulled myself frank until I was session in her lap. Here. I pulled the sealed parchment out of my jerkin and held it out.Not yet said she, trying to roll me over and get back to smacking my bum.She honked my codpiece.You honked my codpiece.Aye, give it up, fool. She tried to get a hand under my codpiece.I reached into the silk purse and retrieved one of the puffballs as I tried to keep my manhood out of her grasp. I heard a door open.Surrender the willie said the duchess.She had it then, there was nothing I could do. I squoze the puffball under her nose.Its from Edmund of Gloucester, said I.Milady? said Oswald, who was standing in the doorway.Let us down, pumpkin, said I. The catch-fart needs his task set.It all smacked of history.The game had progressed further that first day, when Oswald first interrupted us, all those years ago, but it had begun, as always, with one of Gonerils query sessions.Pocket, said she, since you were raised in an abbey, I shou ld think you know much about punishment.Aye, lady. I had my share, and it didnt end there. I still hold up an inquisition almost daily in these very chambers.Gentle Pocket, sure as shooting you jest?That is part of the job, mum.She stood then, and dismissed the ladies from her solar with a minor tantrum. When they were gone she said, Ive never been punished.Aye, lady, well, youre Christian, theres always time. Id left the Church with a curse after they walled up my anchoress and I was leaning heavily pagan at the time.No one is allowed to strike me, so theres always been a girl to take my punishment for me. My spankings.Aye, mum, as it should be. Spare the royal withers and all.And I feel funny about it. Just last week I mentioned during mass that Regan might be a bit of a cunt, and my whipping girl was soundly spanked for it.Might as well have whipped her for your calling the sky blue, eh? A beating for talking truth, of course you felt funny about it.Not that kind of funny, Pock et. Funny like when you taught me about the little man in the boat.It had been a verbal lesson only, shortly after shed insisted I teach her about manly bits. But it had kept her amused, on and off, for a fortnight. Oh, of course, said I. Funny.I need to be spanked, said Goneril.A constant, Id agree, lady, but again were declaring the sky blue, arent we?I want to be spanked.Oh, said I, eloquent and keen rascal that I am. Thats different.By you, said the Princess.Fuckstockings, I so state my doom.Well, by the time Oswald came into the room that first time, both the princess and I were as red-bottomed as Barbary monkeys, quite naked (except for my hat, which Goneril had donned) and administering rhythmically to each others figurehead sides. Oswald was or so less than discreet about it all.Alarm Alarm My lady is destroy by a fool Alarm said Oswald, fleeing from the room, to raise the horrify through the castle.I caught up to Oswald as he entered the great hall, where Lear was si tting on his throne, Regan sitting at his feet to one side, doing needlepoint, Cordelia at the other, playing with a doll.The fool has violated the princess Oswald announced.Pocket said Cordelia, dropping her doll and running to my side, sporting a great, goofy grin. She was perhaps eight then.Oswald stepped in front of me. I found the fool rutting the princess Goneril like a rapacious goat, sire.Tis not true, nuncle, said I. I was called to the ladys solar this morning only to jest her out of a morning funk, which can be smelt upon her breath if you have doubts.At that point Goneril came running into the room, trying to arrange her skirts as she moved. She halt beside me and curtsied before her father. She was breathless, barefoot, and one breast peeked Cyclopean out the bodice of her gown. I snatched my coxcomb off her head with a jingle and concealed it behind my back.There, pertly as a flower, said I.Hello, sister, said Cordelia.Morning, lamb, said Goneril, blindfolding the pi nk-eyed Cyclops with a quick tuck.Lear scratched his beard and glared at his eldest daughter.What ho, daughter, said he. Hast thou dance a fool?Methinks any wench who shags a man hath trip the light fantastic toe a fool, Father.That was a distinct no, said I.What is shagged? asked Cordelia.I saw it, said Oswald.Shag a man and shag a fool, one is the same as another, said Goneril. But this morning I have your Fool shagged, righteous and rowdy. I bonked him until he cried out for gods and horses to pull me off.What was this? Was she hoping for more punishment?That is so, said Oswald. I heard the call.Shagged, shagged, shagged said Goneril. Oh, what is this I feel? Tiny bastard fools stirring in my womb. I can hear their tiny bells.You lying tart, said I. A fool is no more born with bells than a princess with fangs, both must be earned.Lear said, If that were true, Pocket, Id have a halberd run up your bum.You cant kill Pocket, said Cordelia. Ill need him to cherish me when Im visit ed by the red curse, and a horrible melancholy comes over me, said Cordelia.What are you on about, child? said I.All women get it, said Cordelia. They must be punished for Eves treachery in the garden of evil. sustain says it makes you ever so miserable.I patted the childs head. For fucks sake, sire, youve got to get the girls some teachers who arent nuns.I should be punished said Goneril.Ive had my curse for simply months, said Regan, not even bothering to look up from her needlepoint. I find that if I go to the support and have some prisoners tortured I feel better.No, I want my Pocket, said Cordelia, starting to whine now.You cant have him, said Goneril. Hes to be punished, too. afterward what hes done.Oswald bowed for no particular reason. May I suggest his head on a pike on the London Bridge, sire, to discourage any more debauchery?Silence said Lear, standing. He came down the steps, walked bygone Oswald, who fell to his knees, and stood before me. He put his hand on Cordel ias head.The old king locked his hawks gaze upon me. She didnt speak for three years before you came, he said.Aye, sire, said I, looking down.He turned to Goneril. Go to your quarters. Have your nurse tend to your illusions. She will see that there is no issue from it.But, Father, the fool and I Nonsense, youre a maid, said Lear. We have agreed to deliver you thus to the Duke of Albany and so it is true.Sire, the lady has been violated, said Oswald, desperate now.Guards Take Oswald to the bailey and berate him twenty lashes for lying.But, sire Oswald squirmed as two guards seized his arms.Twenty lashes to show my lenience Another word of this, ever, and your head will decorate London Bridge.We watched, stunned, as the guards dragged Oswald away, the unctuous footman weeping and red-faced from trying to hold his tongue.May I go watch? Goneril asked.Go, Lear said. Then to your nurse.Regan was on her feet now and had skipped to her fathers side. She looked at him hopefully, up on he r toes, clapping her hands lightly in anticipation.Yes, go, said the king. But you may only watch.Regan streamed out of the hall after her older sister, her antecede hair flying behind her like a dark comet.Youre my fool, Pocket, said Cordelia, taking my hand. Come, help me. Im teaching Dolly to speak French. The little princess led me away. The old king watched us go without another word, one white eyebrow raised and his hawk eye burning under it like a distant frozen star.

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